I have often been told that I have high expectations. I did, on myself. I worked hard on letting go of my high expectations of myself, and then to let go of the same high expectations of others.
However I noticed today very clearly that I still have expectations of others and have been asking myself if that is wrong. I keep blaming myself for having any at all. You may tell me different, but I finally realised that it’s not wrong and maybe it’s not possible to have none at all, because I was not alone in creating my expectations. Others have a part in that so I need to stop thinking I am always the problem. Do you do that? Do you think you are wrong for having expectations?
I noticed that there are 3 types of people:
1. The person who says something and only says it to please you, to make you feel better. I find that really condescending. I would rather they tried not to please me and be honest. I don’t need others pleasing me, I can do that myself. If you are one of those people, then please stop I would rather you said nothing.
2. The person that has the intention to do something and is all well and meaning, but then finds they don’t have the time or the money, or something else that holds them up. It is not that they don’t want to it is just they lack something to follow through. Again if you are this person, express that, people will forgive you for your shortcomings, and will appreciate your honesty and that you had a good intention and wanted to try your best.
3. The people that say something and then do it. I love these people they are so reliable
I always got disappointed and felt bad for bringing it up that people didn’t do what they said and never mentioned it again. I questioned if I was the one expecting too much that somebody said something and didn’t do it. I now get less disappointed by realising what type of person I have in front of me and how to deal with it or what to say by communicating my needs.
I also ask myself if I do the same thing as them. I may say things and take my time to do it but I do do it, or tell the person I am sorry I can’t do that even though I wanted to.
Take care to notice what type of person you have in front of you and their intentions, and what type of person you are and maybe turn it around.
If you are really not sure which type of person you have in front of you, then don’t be scared to ask. At least by asking it becomes clear and you can know what to expect or not to expect and can stop waiting. Then you know how to treat them or understand them better.
I am trying to be person number 3, so I no longer create false expectations for people and let them down. I know it is possible but it takes work. How about you?
Make the intention to yourself to commit to what you say and your intentions or maybe don’t say it……or work out if you can do it before saying it….. that way you are not letting yourself down or others….
Would love to have your comments? Do you think it is wrong to have expectations? At what point do expectations become to high?